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I've found some real funny tech jokes and I want to share them at CreativeForums.
--
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't
print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted
the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer
still says he can't find it...
--
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
--
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
--
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
--
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No,
my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting
in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working
fine."
--
Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key"
to "Press Enter Key" because of the flood of calls asking
where the Any Key is.
--
An AST Technical Support Center had a caller complaining that her mouse was
hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be
the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
--
A Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician
discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it
in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.
--
A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents.
He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't
find printer." The user had also tried turning the computer screen to
face the printer but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.
--
Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new
computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it
in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When
asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What
power switch?"
--
Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang for
support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to
put in the second disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When
it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in...."
The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2" meant to remove
Disk 1 first.
--
Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my
warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because
I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show?
How did you get this cup holder?
Caller: It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotion.
It just has '4X' on it."
At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't
stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the
load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off
the drive.
--
A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
The tech asked her if she was running it under Windows." The
woman responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is
a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a
window and his printer is working fine."
--
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't
print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted
the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer
still says he can't find it...
--
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
--
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
--
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
--
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No,
my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting
in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working
fine."
--
Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key"
to "Press Enter Key" because of the flood of calls asking
where the Any Key is.
--
An AST Technical Support Center had a caller complaining that her mouse was
hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be
the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
--
A Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician
discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it
in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.
--
A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents.
He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't
find printer." The user had also tried turning the computer screen to
face the printer but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.
--
Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new
computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it
in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When
asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What
power switch?"
--
Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang for
support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to
put in the second disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When
it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in...."
The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2" meant to remove
Disk 1 first.
--
Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my
warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because
I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show?
How did you get this cup holder?
Caller: It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotion.
It just has '4X' on it."
At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't
stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the
load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off
the drive.
--
A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
The tech asked her if she was running it under Windows." The
woman responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is
a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a
window and his printer is working fine."
